On The Ledge

I feel like I am standing on the edge of something amazing.  That I am on the cusp of something life changing.  My heels are digging in and creating some pretty big trenches.  I'm scared.  I'm so scared.  I feel so safe in my cocoon of obesity.  This feels safe.  This feels comfortable.  This feels like something I know.  But I am tired of it.  It is so self defeating.

I have dreams.  They are beautiful.  They are amazing.  They don't involve the body I currently have.  It's an oxymoron really.

Lately, I have had some issues with motivation.  Some days what I really want is just to eat and never stop.  I feel like this most of the time.  I don't really want that.  But I do feel quite defeated most days.

Being overweight has become my identity.  As a Christian, I know that that isn't true.  I have been working on putting on a new identity.  One that is found in Jesus.  One that is a lot more honest than the one I have been wearing.  One that is a lot more true.

So with all of that.  What do you do to be in a safe place within yourself?  When you are feeling chaotic in your world, what do you to calm yourself?  What does some self-care look like for you?  I'm interested in what your answers will be.

Photo: Mercy Ministries