I tread milled today. I don't know what else to write. So whatever happens here is just me going. I have been down in the dumps lately. Losing weight is really hard. Changing my life is really hard. So many things I have done to get here. My lack of self control is overwhelming to me. I am so sad that I can't let something delicious pass me by because I just need to satisfy my momentary longing. The mind stuff that goes with living healthier is insane. It is so stupid that I feel the need, the desire to go and buy a drink every time I go out somewhere. But I do. I don't know why. I don't remember it being this way. Is this a grownup thing? Is it what society and our communities and businesses are saying to us? Get a drink! Not only get a drink but spend five or more dollars to satisfy yourself. It's very rare to go anywhere now where someone is not carrying a Starbucks or Tim Hortons cup. The desire to get a specialty drink is intense. If it wasn't a drink it would be something else. We have a wonderful cupcake place here in town. I am sure that if it was easier to get to, like if they had a drive thu, I would be there every time I went out too. Cause what goes better with a five dollar drink then a three dollar cupcake? Anyways I am just trying to say that losing weight and living healthy is a lot harder then most people would think, especially when the will power is fleeting.
See you tomorrow!
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